Oh please...
It's not easy being English...please note that I don't say British! Only in America are we really believed to unite as one kingdom...we can't possibly have come up with "Great Britain" ourselves "Great" seems so American, we'd surely have named ourselves something like; "Absolutely Fabulous Britain" or "Jolly Good Britain"...believe me if you're English , you're English, Welsh you're Welsh, Scottish you're Scottish, and Irish you're round the bloody bend.
But back to my point...it's hard living up to the crazy standards we set ourselves.
First off there are manners; we constantly say "Sorry" even for things that aren't our fault! I once had someone rear-end my car, I jumped out fuming , yet the first words to leave my lips were "I'm so sorry" what???
Please and thank you are a bind too. I get blood drawn "Which arm would you like me to stick this six inch needle in?" asks the nurse "Ooooh the right one please!" I respond brightly not wishing to appear impolite or, the Queen forbid, emotional.
Yes, stiff upper lip is another standard we're bred to uphold in "Great Britain". We pull ourselves together head held high bravely marching on without even the whiff of a whimper. It's such a relief to show emotion living in America; my wildest tantrums aren't a scratch on even the most inhibited of American outbursts. That's why we love McEnroe so much in England; he was the secret envy of every Brit watching when he had his fantastic meltdowns on the court.
Then there's table etiquette; no elbows on the table, fork in left hand, knife in right hand, don't start until everyone is served, only put on your fork what fits in your mouth (thankfully mine is huge), don't talk with your mouth full and, as my mother would say "No sound effects!"...spaghetti is a nightmare!
I can't write this without addressing our blasted accents! If I get compared to Mary Poppins one more time, I might shove more than just a spoon full of sugar down someone's throat. I'm adjusting though...I say band-aid instead of plaster, trash instead of rubbish, and use both "Shure" and "Whadeverrrr" accordingly. After many a muddled order I have to do the drive through in American. My kids friends beg to share this apparently hilarious experience with me as my attempt at an American accent is, so I've been told, highly amusing and sounds like a cross between John Wayne and Minnie Mouse.
Anyway, as much as I tease, I love being English, but I love being English in America much more than being English in England.
Thank you so much for having me.
But back to my point...it's hard living up to the crazy standards we set ourselves.
First off there are manners; we constantly say "Sorry" even for things that aren't our fault! I once had someone rear-end my car, I jumped out fuming , yet the first words to leave my lips were "I'm so sorry" what???
Please and thank you are a bind too. I get blood drawn "Which arm would you like me to stick this six inch needle in?" asks the nurse "Ooooh the right one please!" I respond brightly not wishing to appear impolite or, the Queen forbid, emotional.
Yes, stiff upper lip is another standard we're bred to uphold in "Great Britain". We pull ourselves together head held high bravely marching on without even the whiff of a whimper. It's such a relief to show emotion living in America; my wildest tantrums aren't a scratch on even the most inhibited of American outbursts. That's why we love McEnroe so much in England; he was the secret envy of every Brit watching when he had his fantastic meltdowns on the court.
Then there's table etiquette; no elbows on the table, fork in left hand, knife in right hand, don't start until everyone is served, only put on your fork what fits in your mouth (thankfully mine is huge), don't talk with your mouth full and, as my mother would say "No sound effects!"...spaghetti is a nightmare!
I can't write this without addressing our blasted accents! If I get compared to Mary Poppins one more time, I might shove more than just a spoon full of sugar down someone's throat. I'm adjusting though...I say band-aid instead of plaster, trash instead of rubbish, and use both "Shure" and "Whadeverrrr" accordingly. After many a muddled order I have to do the drive through in American. My kids friends beg to share this apparently hilarious experience with me as my attempt at an American accent is, so I've been told, highly amusing and sounds like a cross between John Wayne and Minnie Mouse.
Anyway, as much as I tease, I love being English, but I love being English in America much more than being English in England.
Thank you so much for having me.
posted by Cat Mayer at
10:17 PM
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