Codswallop!

I think someone is having us on with this 3D nonsense. Do they really expect us to believe that with all the technology available today, we have to wear those silly glasses to see 3D movies?

I took the kids to see a movie in 3D this week and one set of glasses wasn't working so I had to dash out to the grumpy glasses-passer-outer and switch them for another pair (that's another thing...what is wrong with movie theatre employees???). It dawned on me when I snuck back in to the theatre that everyone was sat there looking like a bunch of brainwashed clones with silly red goggles on.

Not only are the goggles horrendously uncomfortable but the tickets to see the movie now include "goggle rental" and cost anywhere from $4-$8 more! We're being conned!

I didn't mind so much when I got to leave the cinema with the glasses stashed in my bag, even though they're of no use at home, I felt I'd at least got something for my money. Now though, you're either required to hand them in for recycling or get given the heavier more re-usable versions.

The new model of 3D glasses is heavy enough to break the bridge of one's nose...if you've had a nose job they'd be completely insufferable. And they're ugly...no more romance at the movies! Above all, watching 3D movies makes me nauseous; all that motion and things jumping out at you from the screen, so far I've left every 3D movie I've seen with a blinking headache!

Now we're apparently in for 3D TV at home...I am NOT wearing those damn glasses in my own home, I'll end up breaking my neck as I trip over the real 3D dogs that I won't be able to see in 3D cos I've got stupid 3D goggles on!

Love, love, love

I tried so hard not to let it happen to me again. But I'm obsessed! I didn't want to feel this way about someone again, but he's made himself indispensable in my life and I feel like I can no longer live without him...I think I've fallen in love!

He has a lovely open face surrounded by steel gray, and I've never trusted a guy like this before...his name is Mac, and he's the apple of my eye.

OK so you guessed...my Dad bought him for me for my birthday and so he gives me his undivided attention whenever I need him...he's my Mac...Book Pro.

Everyone should have a Mac in their life; it will change the way you communicate with the rest of the world and eliminate any prior frustration you may have felt with technology. So simple and reliable is my companion that I feel quite the silicone specialist now.

Mac has not left my side since he arrived in his beautifully designed pristine box, and has yet to fail me. I don't know how I ever managed without him! I remember my baby sister had a Mac of her own when she came to visit and I was shocked at how protective she was of her constant companion, but now that I have a Mac in my own life I can completely understand her possessiveness.

I spend more time with my Mac each day than with anyone else and I trust him implicitly to keep my secrets. He owns a lovely little camera that he lets me use frequently to keep up with my family and can keep going for over six hours!

I am a self proclaimed anorak and I plan to spend my life with Mac...divorce is quite simply out of the question in this relationship!

Up a steep and very narrow stairway...

I can't believe it's happened, but it has. I'm at that stage in my life where a bikini is no longer acceptable and it's time to move in to a one piece!

How can this have happened? It only seems like yesterday that three mini triangles of fabric were sufficient attire for the beach and here I am looking at various lycra atrocities to cover my midriff.

I say atrocities because that's what they are! Not an ounce of sexy or flattering in these revolting polyester mounds that absorb water like sponges and ultimately act as a tube that blends boobs, belly, and bum into a shiny dollop of a blob to top one's legs.

Not only do I look dreadful in my one piece but I look dreadful without it! All my horrid bumpy bits get shielded from the sun and are therefore white as a lily. Flabby and white...what a delight!

In an attempt to get back in to my bikini I've been taking Ballet Barre...well a twist on the ballet barre I grew up with anyway.

Cardio Barre is like the ballet classes we all took growing up... on red bull. Part of me loves being back in the environment in which I enjoyed so much escapism and joy, and part of me (my bum) hates it. It's really hard work but only lasts an hour and gives both an aerobic workout and muscle building session in one.

I do miss the live pianist plonking away on her piano, but there's something very soothing about repeating the exercises I've done since I was three.

I can't quite say "everything's beautiful at the ballet" but it's certainly more beautiful than it is sat on the couch watching Top Gear with a bag of salt and vinegar crisps!