Look, a new day has begun...
Saturday is my absolute favorite day of the week, but it's even better if it's a Saturday when I have my kids and don't have to let my ex husband borrow them for the weekend. Divorce brings many wonderful things , but sharing your kids ain't one of'em!
I love going to bed late on a Friday knowing that I don't have to set an alarm clock for school the following day, and that you can do the same thing again Saturday night. Oh the luxury of uninterrupted sleep.
Sleep has become unusually important in my life, as any fishnet fearing showgirl worth her weight in feathers who was crazy enough to have kids while still working knows, and I will move mountains to make sure I get eight hours every night...I can honestly say I was tired for about six years straight in my attempt at reviving Superwoman.
Anyway, back to my Saturday. It was beautiful when I woke up...but then two hours in to "Seventeen again" on HBO ( my favorite movie of the moment; I may have to seek help soon for my Zac Efron crush) and it started to rain...yes rain! in California! on a Saturday!
I'm allergic to rain. I think it was the overexposure I had to it growing up in England. But rather than give in to the nasty gray (or is it grey?) wetness I decided to get outside and go on a food hunt because Saturday is my one day off my diet. My theory is that when on a diet you should shock your metabolism once a week and feed it as many fat calories as you can so it bumps itself up in to acceleration mode.
I've managed to get my children addicted to Taco Bell, which in my opinion is the most amazing fast food on the planet...so Saturday lunch is usually there. It is the most satisfying disgustingly unhealthy excuse for food that I have come across...and it's cheap too!
Anyway, on arrival home, arms laden with my exotic Mexican goodies, I opened the door, only to smell cat piss. There are two things that have the ability to send me into a frantic rage; cat piss and computer problems.
We've had a manky cat (think Grizabella from Cats) hanging around the house for several days and my zoo (3 cats and 2 dogs) have been acting rather strangely, so I'm not sure who's to blame for the pungent smell. Until now I'd been torn between taking Grizabella in or shoo-ing her off, but that she pissed on my doorstep has ruined all of her chances at joining the Mayer zoo...even if every time I see her it conjures up images of Elaine Paige singing Memories...
A desperate hour of cleaning followed as I really can't sit and eat Taco Bell with that smell....when I was satisfied that I'd drowned out the smell with floor cleaner and scented candles, I sat down to eat my now cold Burrito and glancing at the screen of the computer saw it flashing dramatic virus warnings...had the cat peed on that too?
Thirty six hours later, here I am, in a house smelling so bleachy it'd turn your hair blond, with a computer that my lovely sixteen year old eventually fixed...with the help of his Dad...one of the benefits of divorce!
I love going to bed late on a Friday knowing that I don't have to set an alarm clock for school the following day, and that you can do the same thing again Saturday night. Oh the luxury of uninterrupted sleep.
Sleep has become unusually important in my life, as any fishnet fearing showgirl worth her weight in feathers who was crazy enough to have kids while still working knows, and I will move mountains to make sure I get eight hours every night...I can honestly say I was tired for about six years straight in my attempt at reviving Superwoman.
Anyway, back to my Saturday. It was beautiful when I woke up...but then two hours in to "Seventeen again" on HBO ( my favorite movie of the moment; I may have to seek help soon for my Zac Efron crush) and it started to rain...yes rain! in California! on a Saturday!
I'm allergic to rain. I think it was the overexposure I had to it growing up in England. But rather than give in to the nasty gray (or is it grey?) wetness I decided to get outside and go on a food hunt because Saturday is my one day off my diet. My theory is that when on a diet you should shock your metabolism once a week and feed it as many fat calories as you can so it bumps itself up in to acceleration mode.
I've managed to get my children addicted to Taco Bell, which in my opinion is the most amazing fast food on the planet...so Saturday lunch is usually there. It is the most satisfying disgustingly unhealthy excuse for food that I have come across...and it's cheap too!
Anyway, on arrival home, arms laden with my exotic Mexican goodies, I opened the door, only to smell cat piss. There are two things that have the ability to send me into a frantic rage; cat piss and computer problems.
We've had a manky cat (think Grizabella from Cats) hanging around the house for several days and my zoo (3 cats and 2 dogs) have been acting rather strangely, so I'm not sure who's to blame for the pungent smell. Until now I'd been torn between taking Grizabella in or shoo-ing her off, but that she pissed on my doorstep has ruined all of her chances at joining the Mayer zoo...even if every time I see her it conjures up images of Elaine Paige singing Memories...
A desperate hour of cleaning followed as I really can't sit and eat Taco Bell with that smell....when I was satisfied that I'd drowned out the smell with floor cleaner and scented candles, I sat down to eat my now cold Burrito and glancing at the screen of the computer saw it flashing dramatic virus warnings...had the cat peed on that too?
Thirty six hours later, here I am, in a house smelling so bleachy it'd turn your hair blond, with a computer that my lovely sixteen year old eventually fixed...with the help of his Dad...one of the benefits of divorce!
posted by Cat Mayer at
10:16 PM
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