Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tiddely-om-pom-pom!

After living in the desert for nine years, there's nothing I like more than a day at the beach. Wherever you live in California the beach is never far away and I make it a priority to get my weekly paddle.

The beach that's easiest for me to get to is Santa Monica; it's a rather unusual seaside town as there's a freeway that runs parallel to the beach...don't worry you'll hardly notice it's there! Aim to park by the pier. The best (and cheapest) spots are where Pecos meets the ocean and are monitored by meters that eat anything silver.

Now when you get down to the seafront you have to make a big decision....do you want to see pretty people, the beach oddities in Venice, or both? Venice is to your left and Santa Monica to your right(toward the pier) I usually opt for both and head down to the bike rental shop at the joint of the pier. It's $7.50 for two hours on a bike.

In front of the bike store there are some gymnasticy hoopy ringy things which are loads of fun if you're willing to look like a complete plonker beside the beautiful beach bods that glide effortlessly from ring to ring. By now you should be feeling energized by the frenzied activity of the beach bunch...you can't miss them, they're super fit, freakishly tanned, and are frantically running from exercise to exercise in fear of stopping and gaining a pound...no,I'm not bitter...they're actually very inspiring!

Anyway, once on yer bike, keep pedaling past the pier to the end and then go back on yourself and pump through Venice Beach. The bike path has been fantastically designed to keep you about twenty feet away from the disturbed folks squatting on the pavement, and as long as you don't stop, you'll be fine!

So when your thighs are burning from the lightning speed you achieved to get away from the guy trying to sell you marijuana in Venice and you've torn your hands to bits showing off on the rings...head over to Shutters...the hotel made of ummm... shutters

This beachfront hotel is beautiful and has a lovely restaurant with fantastic ocean views. Although it looks ridiculously expensive from the outside it is actually very competitive with the other restaurants down at the beach. I usually have fish and chips and a beer, which puts me back about twenty bucks. You'll be served by an array of pretty boys in flowery shirts and stripey ties, near worthy of the Kelly Boy line at the Lido de Paris,who give us all another reason to be eternally thankful that some men were born without their macho.

Check them out (the hotel not the boys!) at: www.shuttersonthebeach.com

Do be sure to leave the beach before 2pm on a week day though, as any later than that you risk entering the dark and torturous gridlock of traffic that torments LA and will ruin your day out at the seaside...oh I do like to be beside the seaside oh I do like to be beside the
sea!

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