Oh bum!

"Blimey my bum's got big!" I exclaimed mortified as I inspected the seat of my jeans and folded them tonight. What could have happened, what has caused my rear end to...well...spread!

It must be the LA traffic, or maybe it's the amount of time I'm spending on the computer writing that blasted blog, or it's sitting on my bum for eight hours driving back and forth to Vegas once a month, or maybe, just maybe it's the annoying fact that after you turn forty you actively lose control over certain areas of your body that you felt sure would never fail you!

I'm a pretty determined creature (I hear my parents sigh on both sides of the planet) and there's not much that I'll allow to get the better of me so I ran head long in to my forties with the defiant air of a four year old and the fearless attitude that nothing was going to change when the big four ooooh hit.

Hard as this may be to believe... I was wrong! First it was my eyesight; I've always been proud of my 20/20 vision but almost like clockwork about four days after my fortieth birthday I felt the change...a slight blurring when I adjusted my view from something near by to something far away. I, of course, ignored it until it became so bad I had to give in to the truth and was rewarded for my brave honesty with bi-focals...what the heck!!

Next were the spider veins...not going to tell you too much about those just in case it stops you from passing my info. on to old Prince C (Charming not Charles!)...suffice to say I wear skirts that hit the knee or below now.

The most annoying change though has been my memory loss. Sometimes I walk in to a room and don't know what I'm doing there and if you dare to pause in conversation for more than ten seconds I'll completely forget what we were talking about.

I am still putting up a bloody good fight against gravity though...the headstands give me a bit of a headache and duct tape really hurts when you strip it off your eyelids...but I'm winning!

And now, the dreaded bum enlargement...how can this be happening?

Growing up is tough, getting old inevitable, staying young at heart the great secret of life...and having a big bottom, well, it provides us with greater laurels to rest on...right?